May

24

Waking Us Up At Night

Filed Under Daddy Posts 

Quinn’s been waking us up at night again. Two or three times a night, we’ll hear her doorknob squeek and the next thing we know, she’s standing ourside our door saying, “Mommy. Daddy. I miss you.” Her voice is almost trembling as she says it. It’s been going on for almost a month now.

At first we just kept telling her to go back to bed. After a few weeks of it, however, it became annoying – neither of us was getting any sleep. We would all be exhausted and cranky all day long because of the interruptions. We were practically yelling at her in the middle of the night to go back to bed. Then we come to find out that apparently she’s worried that we’re going to die – at least that’s what she’s telling us. This, of course, made us feel terrible for yelling at her, so now we’re trying a different approach and letter her get into bed with us for a few minutes. This seems to works. She’ll fall asleep with us for a short while, then go back to her room and sleep through the rest of the night.

I’m not sure what’s bothering her or why she’s suddenly worried about us dying. My wife’s pretty scared of dying…, can this sort of thing be passed on genetically?

The two girls I work with both told me that when they were young, they both went through the same thing. At one point in their lives, they both were afraid to leave their parents’ side because they thought they would never see them again. I guess that makes me feel a little better, but I can’t help but feel bad for my five-year-old…, someone that young just shouldn’t be worrying about those kinds of things.

Comments

One Response to “Waking Us Up At Night”

  1. Grandpa Jim on May 24th, 2007 4:43 pm

    Chris,

    My youngest had a period when she was about 5-6 when she would come downstairs int he middle of the night and stand next to our bed until one of us noticed a shadowy figure by the bed and about had the Big One. So then she started standing there poking her mother until she woke up. “Bother your dad!” my wife told her. So she would stand next to my side of the bed and poke me. I would pull back the covers and let her in and ask what was wrong and she would tell me it was a bad dream. Shew would be with me for 15 minutes and then I would tell her to go back to bed and she would cheefully do so and go back to sleep.

    My wife asked me why I didn’t tell her to stop doing that. I told her that my daugher was 6, that she was getting older so fast, that there was nothing in the world that I loved more than holding her in my arms and that for those 15 minutes with her snuggled up to me I was so happy – and that when she stopped doing this I was never going to be able to cuddle her again because she would be too old and would consider that baby stuff.

    She eventually stopped without any parental discipline and I was right. While I get hugs even though she is 26 now, I never really got to snuggle with her again.

    Don’t look at this as an imposition or as something to be cured unless Quinn develops other indicia of emotional issues. Look at it as a wonderful gift. Your beautiful little girl knows that in all this world – which is very big for a 5 year old – there is one place that she is completely safe and that is in the arms of her mother and father. Every time she shows up she is reminding you that you and your wife have taught her that you love her without question and will protect her from her worries, fears, and scares.
    Hold her close, kiss her forehead, tell her you love her and that she is safe and give thanks that you have those moments where that warm little body is inside the circle of your arms and you CAN protect her from all those things.

    Drat! I’m going to get all mushy now just remembering Kerry snuggled up to mew.

    Grandpa Jim

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